Wisdom in Living
Your Happiness Recipe

Stephen Lau
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The Happiness Wisdom

Your Happiness Recipe Ingredients: Ancient Wisdom! Conventional Wisdom! Spiritual Wisdom!

Happiness or unhappiness is only a perception of the human mind. That is why you need wisdom to change your thinking mind in order to change the "realities" you perceive, making you happy or unhappy.

This 161-page book shows you how ancient wisdom from the East and the West, conventional wisdom, and spiritual wisdom may enlighten you. Also, the book provides many real-life examples reported in the news and the media to illustrate how and why happiness or unhappiness occurs to humans.

Your life journey is uniquely yours, and so are your life experiences. This book provides you with happiness ingredients, but you have to make your own recipe.

To get your digital copy, click here; to get your paperback copy, click here.

Create Your Own Happiness Recipe

According to Aldous Huxley, the English author, “Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you.” Given that your perceptions of your life experiences and your processing of those perceptions in your mind determine whether you are happy or unhappy, you have to make your own happiness recipe.

The explanation is that you are going on your own life journey, so nobody can tell you how to perceive and process all the experiences you encounter along that journey. The ancient wisdom from the East and the West, the conventional wisdom, and the spiritual wisdom may boil down to five ingredients that are essential to making you happy: love, forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, and letting go. They are responsible for creating the happiness that is more lasting for any life experience encountered along your life journey.

Ask yourself the following self-intuitive questions may enlighten you, throwing some light on how you are going to make your own happiness recipe:

Can you love someone you don’t like or who doesn’t like you, someone who doesn’t share your views-even though they are not bad or evil individuals?

Can you forgive someone who has hurt you, physically or emotionally?

Can you express your gratitude by not complaining this and that, by not comparing yourself with others concerning your lack or abundance?

Can you show compassion to those who are less fortunate than yourself with a charitable mindset and a generous heart?

Can you let go of anger, regret, vengeance, or your material possessions that define who you think you are?

Happiness is about doing-doing things to yourself as well as to others, based on the five major happiness ingredients.

In addition to choosing the ingredients, you should know the methods of applying those ingredients to your recipe. There are basically only two: human wisdom, and spiritual wisdom.

Human wisdom shows you how to think: who you really are, not who you wish you were; how and why your perceptions may change the realities that ultimately affect your life choices and decisions, making you happy or unhappy. Happiness is no more and no less than perceptions by the human mind. Human wisdom is right thinking, leading to right doing to create the happy life experiences.

Spiritual wisdom provides strength and guidance for right thinking by the human mind. Spiritual wisdom may not only transform but also enlighten you to become a better and happier individual.

Bottom line: even with profound human wisdom and with the help of spiritual wisdom, no individual can be completely good and happy, because humans are imperfect. So, there is no perfect recipe for human happiness. Just continue your own life journey.

Stephen Lau
Copyright © Stephen Lau

Happiness or unhappiness is all in the human mind. Therefore, human happiness requires human wisdom, which is clarity of thinking. To empower the thinking mind, mindfulness is essential, which is the power of now: the capability to see what is going on inside the mind at the present mind. This is instrumental in knowing who we really are, and not who we wish we were. Knowing our true self enables us to perceive and process our life experiences quite differently. Remember, our perceptions become  our memories, that ultimately affect how we think, act or react, and they become our so-called "realities" making us happy or unhappy.

The bottom line, we need a relaxed mind living in the now to see the ultimate truths of self, of others, and of what is happening around. Sadly, with a compulsive mind, we are living in a complex world that creates the "realities" that make us unhappy.


Human happiness depends a great deal on good human relationships, which are not easy to come by.

First and foremost, you need to love yourself first, which is self-acceptance -- accepting who you really are, and not who you wish you were. We all have our imperfections; nobody is perfect. If we cannot accept who we are in spite of our inadequacy or imperfections, how can we accept others for who they are with their imperfections? Without this acceptance, there is no love, no appreciation, and no gratitude -- and we may become unhappy.

In any love relationship, we often expect to find someone who can and will make us happy. The truth of the matter is that nobody can make you happy unless he or she consciously wants to -- that means that individual   consciously accepts you for who you are despite your imperfections.

Have the wisdom of self-acceptance to initiate happiness.


Human happiness has much to do with human emotions and feelings. Emotions and feelings are two sides of the same coin; they are closely related, but they are two very different things in that the former create biochemical reactions in the human body, affecting the physical state, while the latter are mental associations and reactions to the former.

This is one of the truths of emotions and feelings: even if you feel good most of the time, but you may still think that you should feel even better --that is how you may end up feeling less happy. That is how emotions and feelings may play a pivotal role in your own perception of your happiness or unhappiness.

Take care of your emotions and keep them in balance -- never in excess, even positive ones, such as joy -- will provide you with happiness.


Tao wisdom is the wisdom of the ancient Chinese sage, Lao Tzu, who put his wisdom in Tao Te Ching, a book with only 5,000 words with no punctuation mark. His wisdom is simple, but intriguing and paradoxical.

Humility, which is the absence of the ego, is the foundation of human happiness. An empty mind, which is the absence of any "conditioned" thinking, enables you to see the nature and realities of all things, including who you really are. Understanding the ultimate truths of everything lets you live in the present -- doing whatever you need to do, no more and no less, with no judgment and no expectation of the outcome. What goes up, must also come down; everything follows a natural order, just like the four seasons.

The bottom line: embrace whatever that comes along your life journey, and learn lessons from them.

The human ego is the source of human sufferings.

We are all created to be in this world for only one purpose: to be our true self. We all have an ego, and that is why we all have experienced unhappiness to a certain extent, without any exception. Unfortunately, the human ego is the underlying cause of human unhappiness. In addition, the human ego is also the human flaw responsible for most of the problems and troubles that we are all facing in our lives, and that human flaw ultimately and inevitably leads to our own unhappiness.

The reality is that we cannot get rid of our ego because that is our uniquely individual identity. Having said that, we can still somehow diminish it, or at least not letting it get out of control and dominate us eventually. Remember, the size of your ego is directly proportionate to the intensity of your unhappiness.

Get rid of your ego to live a stress-free life as if everything is a miracle.

We are living in a world of depression. To many, the word “depression” may be synonymous with the word “unhappiness”; but the reality is that happiness is not the absence of depression. So, even if you are not depressed at all, you may still be unhappy.

Conventional wisdom helps you get peout of depression through medications, psycho therapy, or even distractions. But Tao wisdom (the wisdom of Lao Tzu) tells you not to avoid it, but to experience it fully so that you may understand "how" and "why" you have developed depression in the first place. Most probably, it is because you want everything "your way, or way" -- that is also a way to unhappiness.


Throughout ages, miracles have happened around the world -- a testament to the indisputable fact that God is always in control, despite humans’ resistance to letting go of their futile endeavors to control their own destinies, aimed at creating their own happiness.

We all have different life experiences along our unique life journeys. How you perceive those experiences of yours, as well as those of others, determine your own measure of happiness or unhappiness in different phases of your life.

Make your own happiness recipe from these five major happiness ingredients: love, forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, and letting go.

Happiness is about doing -- doing things to yourself as well as to others, based on the five major ingredients to create your own happiness.

In addition to choosing the ingredients, you should know the methods of applying those ingredients to your recipe. There are basically only two: human wisdom, and spiritual wisdom.

Spiritual wisdom is the essence of human happiness. Understanding spiritual wisdom is never easy, unless there is profound human wisdom. TAO, the ancient wisdom from China, is the way to understanding Biblical wisdom.
Spirituality and emotions are inter-related. Get your roadmap for a discipleship with Jesus to transform yourself, to grow your soul through grief and loss, and to develop yourself into an emotionally mature adult.