Wisdom in Living

Stephen Lau
Avoiding a Late Divorce

The rate of divorce is skyrocketing in the United States, and the U.S. Census estimates about half of marriages end in divorce.  According to relationship experts, the number of long-term relationships heading towards separation is becoming more frequent with a longer life span and a growing acceptability of divorce.

What some experts are saying is that people divorce because they have a longer lifespan, and that divorce is no longer a social taboo.

The bottom line is that marriage is not a dress that you throw away when it no longer fits you. If you find that your body has outgrown the dress, you can slim down so that you can fit into the dress again, or you can have it altered so that it can fit into you. In other words, life is about changes, and so is marriage. You just have to adapt yourself to these changes, and that makes it challenging and interesting. You don’t just walk away from a marriage because you don’t like it anymore. A marriage is a lifetime commitment for thick and thin, for better and for worse.

"Staying in exactly the right relationship to one another is a very hard thing to maintain every decade," said Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology at the University of Washington. "People think you only get closer over time, but that's not necessarily true."

The breakups of couples married for several decades are "cold divorces," characterized by disengagement, distance and isolation. These kinds of divorces are the products of a gradual buildup. The problems may have festered to the point where no one cares.

Marriage counselors say there are benchmarks in a typical marriage where divorce is more apt to occur.

First, divorces often happen during the initial two years of marriage when the expected honeymoon period is replaced with the reality of getting accustomed to each other's attitudes and living habits. A second point for divorce is around the five to seven year mark, where children are typically born.

And divorce can also happen when the kids leave home. Some empty nesters divorce because they no longer have their children holding them together.

One of the best ways to renew marital affection and interest is to face new challenges together, especially in the golden years when there are many new issues in life. Coping with these problems may renew their cooling and dwindling marital love.

Your Golden Years and Santa Claus: This 252-page book has everything you need to know about physical frailty, vision impairment, breathing problems, memory loss, as well as health, money, death, and bereavement issues. This is a comprehensive book on the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of the wisdom in successful aging in the golden years. It provides you with a wealth of information on the art of living well, instead of stereotyping yourself as old and decrepit.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau
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In Chinese medicine, natural healing and disease management stem from invisible energy healing. It is the internal life energy (qi) flowing from your conscious mind into the natural and man-made world around you. It is this continuous stream of energy healing that transforms the chaos within your body and mind -- often caused by distorted thoughts and accumulative toxins -- into recovery and rejuvenation. Energy healing is effective disease management.

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On this site, there are Nine Pillars upholding the premise of natural healing and disease management for living well.

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Health attitudes, consisting of diligence, one of the seven virtues in Chinese culture, uphold the premise of natural healing. They also embrace the golden mean of no extremity for better disease management.

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Anger management, through Zen living with no grudge and no great expectation, leads to self-knowledge in natural healing and disease management.

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Be mindless of undue concern for aging, obsession to weight loss, love of money, daily troubles and worries -- they are life stressors preventing natural healing.

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The Pillar of Chinese Healing

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The Pillar of Rejuvenation

Natural healing brings about recovery, complemented by health rejuvenation with the free flow of qi, healthy breathing, and restful sleep.

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